Some days and things

We all have those days.. those days when we want to crawl back into bed and say no no no NO to doing pretty much anything useful or productive... I hate to say it but on those days you just have to remind yourself that you are not totally useless, you DO know what you are doing, and that technology is just as stubborn as you. Last Thursday. Holy.. struggle day.

large prints for critique!

I had a really good week other than that afternoon, really! I had critique on my large prints from the previous series.. I need to narrow down which images will be on display/in review for 303. Critiques in my other two courses went really well, I was on track with my work and meetings and everything else, but there are just some days where technology puts its big metal foot down and decides you are not getting anything done.

Thursday afternoon I was all set to print some more drawings onto canvas - I had designed a large banner print using the drawings from the first series. The final size would be somewhere near 6 feet long/tall and a little under 4 feet wide. SUPER awesome and big and yes. Not. I loaded the printer with the canvas and then... realized too late that the cut I made to the edge of the roll was not clean. By a long shot. SO, the printer chewed up the edge of the canvas roll pretty nicely and then refused to print anything else. In my stubbornness, I decided to clear the paper jam that was causing all the issues... or so I thought. Turns out there was a tiny, small, speck of paper that had fallen between the cleaning station and the rollers (printer talk) and was just hanging out of reach. So.. 2 hours of troubleshooting with my dad and swearing and tearing my hair out later.. I still had no print! 

Imagine my frustration when the 3D prints I was also working on - because chronic multitasking - were also failing! One big thing I have learned from 3D printing is that.. you are not going to get a perfect print 100% of the time. And about 50% of the time it is your own damn fault. I had created a print of one of my drawings and was attempting to print it as a relief. 

Seems pretty straightforward, eh?

What I did not think to check was the wall and support thicknesses... this basically meant I was asking the printer to create negative layers because my supports were too thin to hold the designs. So the printer started going around in circles trying to build up layers from non-existent supports.. it was a mess. In addition to that! (because there is always more) the filament was not feeding through correctly. Luckily.. I had the manual at my side and I knew this was a common problem with this particular printer. It all boiled down to the extruder -- literally. The extruder was becoming clogged with filament. I have discovered this can happen for more than a few reasons, listed below, but let me tell you.. I was ready to walk out and call it quits!

Troubleshooting:
Can't load makerbot PLA filament into the extruder: 
1. Make a fresh cut at the end of the makerbot PLA filament. Cut the filament at an angle - a narrow tip will help with loading. It is also important that the filament have no bends in it.

If you are still having trouble (YES), remove the fan assembly (cleaning the drive gear). load the filament again, watching to see that it goes straight down through the extruder.

Extruder makes a clicking noise when loading PLA filament (YES.)
This may mean a piece of filament is stuck in your extruder. (Cleaning the drive gear) to remove fan assembly and motor assembly. Any filament stuck in the lower portion of the extruder can be pulled from the heated extruder using a pair of pliers..

My professor ended up doing this to the machines to make sure everything was in working order. But seriously... just like any machine, maintenance is hugely important to it functioning properly. If I had taken the time to check everything was working I wouldn't have had half the problems I encountered that day! Lesson learned: Take your damn time, Kanak.

The next section is mostly for future reference.. troubleshooting forever and on until everything works!

Cleaning the drive gear:
The drive gear is the part of the extruder that pushed filament through the extruder. when you make things with your makerbot, small pieces of hardened PLA can stick to the drive gear.

1. unload the makerbot PLA filament from the extruder.
2. unscrew the two bolts at the lower corners of the fan guard using the 2.5mm hex key included with your makerbot
as one piece, remove the fan guard, the fan, the heat sink, and spacers. keep these pieces together and set them aside.
3. unclip the motor wires
4. pull the motor assembly out
5. find the drive gear on the motor shaft. using a small instrument like a toothbrush or toothpick, remove all the pieces of filament stuck to the drive gear
6. repeat the motor assembly
7. plug in the motor wires
8. add the fan guard, the fan, the heat sink, and spaces to the front of the extruder and bolt them on
9. reload filament

This week....

On a more positive note, I have been able to complete two more drawings from the third series! This series is addressing the health issues my parents were dealing with over the past few years - bursitis, bone spurs, severe nerve pain... all that jazz. 

Iteration 2

I have spent a lot of time away from this series, actually.. Drawing these images makes me feel really uneasy - nauseous, even. I walk away from them frequently and come back to them later to finish what I have started. The patterns and textures are incredibly unstable and shaky, both to draw and in appearance. I created forms to represent the members of my family - curvilinear, speckled, bony masses that hover around and interact with the primary figures. I wanted to show gnarled bones with irregular growths and patterning - to reference the bone spurs and the pain my dad was experiencing over time. I can't imagine what it must have felt like, but I remember seeing him tense up against the pain and gritting his teeth.. the little things we notice, right? I also wanted to experiment with the texture of cracks and crevices, as morbid and twisted as that sounds.. I had not explored that effect yet and it seemed fitting for the condition and the X-rays of the bones and spine.

Iteration 3

After finishing this iteration yesterday I realized I stopped and started it four different times. This particular drawing refers directly to the problems my mom was having last year and that she continues to treat and deal with. I was not home at all for the treatments or for the initial diagnosis - in fact, I received a cryptic text message about the hospital and I didn't know what to think.. I believe that this feeling of detachment and lack of clarity is what made this iteration frustrating and physically difficult to draw. I struggled with balancing elements and tying everything together because I think, subconsciously, I am still trying to piece together the weight of what happened and the sequence of events. This iteration shows a lot of interacting, interwoven, and unfinished forms.. it's amazing what the mind does to piece together what is missing. Luckily both of my parents are doing well now and I feel.. kind of like a jerk to bring up old ghosts, but I need to. I need to provide new interpretations of old fears and the images we all received as observers.

I have one more iteration to complete in this series and then I will be moving on to the collection of work about my aunt. I decided this weekend that I will not be addressing my own health/personal issues until next semester. I am not ready to confront all of those things just yet.. I thought I might be after creating pieces about my family, but I also realized I will need to present work for my senior show exhibition and this idea.. it's ever-changing and evolving as I go. The series about my aunt and her various conditions will be trying as well - but I am looking forward to seeing the results and information with new eyes. Knowing she has recovered and is still kicking, hard, through life. 
In addition to all of these good things I have decided to apply for ArtLab with my work! I honestly cannot remember if I talked about this in the last post or not.. my brain is a little more than fried.

ArtLab is an exhibition of student work that is displayed in the main art gallery on NMU's art and design campus. The exhibitions can be submitted by student groups or by individuals... cue me, being insane.

I am applying to ArtLab with my 303 work. As I spend more time creating large format prints, transporting my classmates into the all-encompassing, nauseating, creeping environments I am drawing, I realize that I want that experience to be shared with others. Not just my classmates or my individual art review panel - more people need to see this side of me and my work. I want to display the large prints - possibly one or more from each series - on the wall of the gallery. In addition to that, I want to project the drawings into the walking space so patrons/visitors can be literally covered in the textures, patterns, environments... all of it. I want to present another perspective to seeing the images and continue that idea of transferring the power of the image to the viewer. The drawings are always going to be taken out of context because the true origins will be hidden.. so everyone can assign their own meaning. That is my hope, anyway.


I have attached the artist statement I will be submitting for review and jurying... It's a lot. That's really the only way I can describe what I am feeling. This process has been transformative for me as an artist and as a person. I am enjoying working on the series, even when it makes me really sad or feel sick to my stomach.. So there's that! I hope to receive feedback from you, the readers, on changes to be made to the statement or installation ideas. I am open to anything, really! So here goes....

Vicissitudes

Vicissitudes are natural changes or mutations, which are usually out of the realm of human control or prediction. Cancers, diseases, broken bones, deterioration, and conversely growth and healing can all be considered vicissitudes as well. In the past few years a number of my family members have had several serious health issues. My series entitled Vicissitudes spans across several years of these life altering, and often frightening, situations. Living nearly four hundred miles away from most of the people involved in the series created a literal distance, while hearing about family members’ respective conditions through indirect messages produced an overpowering emotional distance. I realized in order to create a series which evoked both healing and acceptance, for my own mental and emotional health, I needed to mask the true nature of images so I could begin to view them in a different way. Numerous personal artifacts and references including: X-rays, MRI scans, surgical photography, test results, and medical papers supplemented my process of reconstructing technical and highly personal information into abstract drawings. The structures I have designed loosely reference the body parts and systems being addressed in the aforementioned objects, events, and stories.

My work creates scenes with the absence of color to lend a cold, unfeeling mood to the drawings. I want to echo the detached technical and informational style of interpersonal communication in my personal life and world. By interacting with the images in varying scales and media, viewers are transported into the environments, depth, and moods portrayed in each composition. The power of the image is conveyed and the viewer gains the opportunity to assign personal meaning to what they are seeing – much like I was forced to do years ago.

Each group of four drawings operates as a series and represents a different person or people, condition, or event. Additionally, each person’s condition has been translated into structures and patterns unique to their individual story, creating identities through form and shape. Though not every found object, result, or artifact depicted in the series lead to a happy end or story, the catharsis of creating the works lightened the difficult emotional burdens I have carried with me over time.

Okay.. time to get some other things done. I'm early on my blog post this week. That has to count for something, eh?!

Til next time.

Ms. Kanak

303 progress... 6 weeks to go! Don't Panic.

Wowwww it's already October (3rd). Commence Mean Girls quotes all over everything in existence! In all seriousness... I am in shock that this semester is moving so quickly! I had to take a big test yesterday in Individual Art Review that determines if I will be participating or not. NO PRESSURE, ART DEPARTMENT. Rude.I thought while I had a minute I could update about my progress in 303 :) Everything is moving fairly smoothly and I am trying (trying so hard) to draw every day. Though time gets away from me, I always go back to my work and spend a few hours on what I have started. I completed the second series of 5 last week so... yeah I think I am on track!? I have 11 more drawings to complete in the next six weeks.

Series 2 Iteration 3

went back to this one and reworked it...

Results! Series 2 Iteration 1

The final iteration in this series is, by far, my favorite to date. I explored depth and texture and line.. all of which were different from previous iterations. I directly referenced bone marrow and the structures within bones and joints. As stated in previous posts, I basically let my reference images guide the direction my drawings take - this process led me to the following results...

Finished! Series 2 iteration 4

One pattern I have noticed while working on these is.. the entire process is emotionally and mentally exhausting. I spend several hours working on each drawing, examining and reexamining x-rays and texture studies. Listening to the music that was playing in my life during these events and announcements. I find that I can only create a few iterations per series because eventually I grow tired of the repetition of forms and creating cohesion between different iterations in each series. 

detail view

Most iterations have one or two commonalities in textures or forms, but generally they are all completely independent of each other in design and layout. I found myself creating more horizontal compositions with this second series, probably because of the suggestion of the pelvic region, hips, leg bones.. they demand more space. They literally hold the body up and keep us moving... which brings us to the next series.

detail view

As stated in the previous post, the following series is about my mom and dad and their various health issues and struggles from the past few years. My dad had surgery on his spine earlier this year and is recovering, happy and healthy, but holy MAN were the x-rays insane! He has huge screws in his spine, growth plates, fused bone tissue.. it's crazy. He had to wear a brace and has had all sorts of physical therapy since the initial surgery. Not to be morbid or weird.. but I was really excited to receive these images and work with them. There are so many different types of bone structures in the head, the face, the neck, etc. I was able to see the inner structures of the vertebrae as captured by the x-ray, which is super cool. There is a dense latticework of marrow that shows up in each image.

In addition to the images my dad sent, my mom sent me her images as well. She had bursitis and has had several issues with that diagnosis. I won't go into specifics, but bursitis makes it really hard to walk and limits your mobility.. Again, more things that happened while I was away at school! I have been struggling to feel connected to my family since I moved up here and when these hospital visits/procedures happen, I am kept in the loop through group messages and emails. My response to this communication? Drawing. I will be honest, I have struggled with this series so far. The events were fairly recent and the memories clear, but it's still scary to think about how many 'what ifs' were at play during each parent's procedures and treatments. As someone who has a bit (A BIT) of a control complex, I did not enjoy the not-knowing, the waiting for updates, the random texts about physical therapy or injections or whatever came to pass. In response, this series will be more directly representational of the family unit as a whole. I will explain..

Series 3 Iteration 1

This first iteration was abandoned in favor of the following drawings but I have since come back to it. The main object is featured in several pieces. The form on the left and the zig zag-type shape are meant to represent my dad. They somewhat resemble a spine and a jawline. My dad was struggling with arm and neck pain with his condition and I remember seeing him very tense in the face, fighting the pain. After viewing the x-rays, I saw the full scope of the problem and expanded my focus to the head as well as the spine and vertebrae. The other forms in the drawing represent myself, my sister, and my mom. The form at the bottom of the image represents my mom, the one to the right of that, myself. The form at the top represents my sister. I wanted to illustrate the connections we all had to my dad throughout this process. I came home from school/work to be there for surgery and recovery for my dad. I was told by a friend that the objects kind of look like satellites, circling around the greater forms..

detail view

 The second iteration in this series took on a more direct representational approach to the images I was seeing. I referenced the spine and its structures with very little abstraction but continued to explore the idea of 'satellite' forms or bodies in the composition. 

Series 3 Iteration 2

interaction of forms - detail view

beginnings of deconstruction

Working on this iteration presented interesting challenges that I will apply to the previous drawing. I wanted to make sure the satellite bodies appeared different from the main structure. I used differing structures and textures to create discontinuity in form and shape between the two ideas. I also wanted to echo the experiences my mom was having with her own condition so when drawing the satellite forms I created similar spaces in the bones as the ones found in the pelvis, the joints, and the various arterial structures found throughout all three. I maintained the abstraction aesthetic I wanted in my series as a whole, but there were definite skeletal forms in this iteration. The best part about this drawing? TURNING IT UPSIDE DOWN.

 See?! It completely changed... therein lies the power of perception and how we choose to view what is in front of us. I will create two more iterations in this series and then I am moving on to a series about my aunt and finally.. one about myself. That one will be the biggest challenge.. I'm not ready yet. Working my way up to it, literally.

The next step in this process takes WAY less patience because I am going digital! I decided to try and scan in my drawings for printing. Large. Scale. Prints. My dad sent me some rolls of HUGE canvas to print on. Because.. of all things.. the Design Lab on campus also has a 44 inch HP photo printer. NO KIDDING. So my first step was to scan in the drawings I wanted to work with.. and then..

 I had to set up the printer on my computer. Thankfully my dad is the graphic design/printing guru of the family so a quick couple of calls later, I was ready to go!

photo for scale - this thing is HUGE

I first printed onto regular inkjet photo paper, to see the level of detail I had reached through my scans... um. 400DPI did the trick nicely!

this print took about 25 minutes - so pretty!

 AGAIN, pictures for scale - this paper, these prints, they are huge. And I love that. Now I can see all the tiny details, the little drops of ink on the paper, the mistakes, the successes.. it's a hugely important process for me to examine my work closely. AND it forces the viewer to become part of what they are seeing; it transports them into the drawings and the environment created by each series. I am in love with this printer, and I don't care how weird that is.

In the midst of all the printing party going on.. I also decided to try and 3D print a portion of one of my drawings. I had uploaded an image into TinkerCAD, which has an option for 2D images being placed onto a base. Worth a try, right? I will be returning to the lab today to finish the print.

SO MANY things happening. Speaking of the lab! We are having the grand opening today at 3! The Digital Design Lab is finally complete - mostly - with Mac desktops, laptops, Xbox Kinect, four Makerbots, one Digitizer, sewing machines for wearables, soldering supplies and equipment, Raspberry Pi programming software and hardware, SCRATCH, Minecraft, GoPros... you name it, it's there! And it is available to future teachers to experiment and tinker with. I have been going each week (obviously, that's where my blog posts come from) to experiment with 3D printing and now with large format archival prints. No big deal. I'm just a huge teacher/learning nerd. I love it to pieces and today we get to celebrate the strides we have made as teacher-makers and tinkerers.

And I get to wear this sweet shirt!

 My professor asked if I would be in charge of the 3D printer corner - aka talk to visitors, faculty, and students about the learning potentials through 3D printing in the classroom. Super useful considering my presentation at the MAEA conference is in a month! I will also share with visitors my personal experiments with the technology and how I have utilized it to explore art and sculpture from drawings. It's going to be an awesome time and I get to promote my work too! Can't beat that :)

The large canvas prints were 43 inches wide and more than 50 inches long. THEY ARE BIGGER THAN THE WORK TABLES. I need to figure out some way to display them so they 
a. stay flattened for viewing
b. hang from the wall? 
c. stretch onto bars for display??

I am trying to figure out how I will show these large pieces.. they're too big for me to hold by myself! 









The smaller, thicker canvas print was around 18 inches wide and close to 30 inches long. I will definitely be playing with layout, layering of drawings, and sizing for these print experiments. In the meantime.. I have plans to cut up one of the large canvas prints and make it into something for class. It's always homework time.. always..

Seriously awesome prints on this canvas. Love it.

another huge print on the thinner, larger canvas 

Until the next post... I must go eat my lunch or I will be too too too cranky to function.

Ms. Kanak